Have you ever been told to “follow your passion?” It’s a common statement these days. Hating your job is out and being happy is in. In The Bald Brothers Podcast’s debut episode we chat about…
Listen to our first episode at the links below…
Here’s a lesson that I only learned recently in life.
Find joy in where you’re at RIGHT NOW.
For far too long I put off happiness while in pursuit of my goals.
When I was in Law School, I completely put my life on hold.
I remember telling myself, “just put your head down and accept being miserable for three years. You can be happy after.”
So that’s what I did.
I focused all of my attention on my studies. In all fairness, Law School is extremely hard work and given my course load, a lot of my attitude was warranted. But I was constantly thinking about the future.
I NEEDED to graduate and pass the bar in order to start my life and be happy.
I actually performed well in Law School. Graduated with a 3.5 GPA. Passed the Maryland Bar on my first try. Despite this success, nothing changed.
I was still obsessed with the future.
I remember thinking…
How could I start my life when I don’t have the PERFECT job?
I couldn’t be “happy” until I was making at least six figures, right?
I never gave much thought to what I ACTUALLY WANTED TO DO – especially outside of the law.
So now officially in the working world, I put my head down and started to grind. I started with my father’s law firm, then at a judicial clerkship, then an investment bank, then another law firm, until finally two years later I circled back with my father’s firm.
Why did I jump around so much? Because I started to follow my gut.
I wasn’t happy in any of the jobs I had. I didn’t enjoy the work, the subject matter, none of it. Something just wasn’t right.
During my time practicing law, practicality ruled my life.
Leaving the law wasn’t an option. You can’t just casually walk away from a legal career after taking the LSATs, being admitted into Law School, spending three years studying, graduating, and then passing the bar – right?
It wasn’t until I started working at my father’s firm for the second time that I started to think about what I ACTUALLY wanted to do.
I’d always had a passion for film and entertainment.
I’d always wanted to be an actor.
I’d always wanted to write creatively.
But these passions had been suffocated by PRACTICALITY.
At this point, I had also just gone through a breakup.
Although difficult at the time, it helped me put things into perspective. It opened up my eyes and forced me to focus on myself. And that’s when I finally said fuck practicality…
I moved to Nashville and dramatically changed careers!!
Did anything change? Did I break my habit of putting happiness on hold until I reach some hypothetical goal?
NOPE!
When I first moved to Nashville, I set goals and put my happiness on hold until I achieved them.
I immediately signed up for acting and improv classed. I got headshots. I started auditioning.
After I gain success, I thought, only THEN will I allow myself to be happy.
And that’s how I lived my first six months in Nashville.
I was considerably in a better mental state, having made the career change. BUT something was still off.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized my mindset wasn’t conducive to the life I wanted.
I no longer wanted to put off happiness.
So I changed.
I didn’t stop setting goals. I didn’t work any less. But I did switch my mindset.
I started enjoying the little things. I started finding joy in my journey. I started finding joy in my study of acting, in my writing, in my side jobs, in my social life, in everything.
This tiny switch dramatically improved my well-being.
I now no longer feel as if my life is on hold. I’m more motivated to pursue my goals. I’m more focused than I’ve ever been. I am happier than I’ve ever been. Why?
Because even though I have BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS goals, I understand that my happiness is not determined by whether or not I achieve them. Instead, my happiness is derived from whether or not I try.
Do yourself a favor and find joy in where you’re at RIGHT NOW – this second.
If you do that, I promise you, you’ll be infinitely happier because of it.
“Nice to meet you, Brendan – so what do you do?”
This is a difficult question to answer. Most artists dread the question.
Do I respond by revealing my creative pursuits? “I’m an Actor!!!”
OR do I respond by revealing my ACTUAL work? You know, the stuff I do that actually pays me.
I struggled with this question when I first stopped practicing law and embarked on my creative endeavors. I’d ask myself, “how can I say I’m an actor when I haven’t been in anything??”
If I told people I was an Actor, they’d surely respond, “No way! So cool! Have I seen you in anything?” After which I’d clear my throat, laugh, and respond, “doubt it.” Then proceed to change the subject with a classic, “how about all those scooters downtown, crazy right?” Not the most invigorating conversation, I know.
THE FIRST – never let other people’s opinions affect your decision making. This comes straight from Gary Vaynerchuck, the legend himself. Don’t say or not say something because you’re worried about what that person will think of you. Behaving that way is just silly. What other people think of you is none of your damn business. You do you.
THE SECOND – you don’t have to be profiting off your art in order to identify as an artist. For most artists, money isn’t the primary motive. And if it is, I doubt they’ll last long. Most artists are pursuing their art because they love it. And shouldn’t people identify with what they love? That’s rhetorical – of course they should.
THE THIRD – the more people who know what you do, the better off you’ll be. This is an old networking trick. Connections are EVERYTHING in this business. I truly believe that. So why would you ever not tell somebody you’re an actor, or a writer, or an artist? You have no idea what connections that person has. They may refer you to a filmmaker who is need of an actor for an upcoming short film. Or they may have a friend who is in need of an additional writer for a sketch comedy group. You never know what could happen.
You are doing yourself a disservice if you withhold information about your creative pursuits when you meet new contacts. Tell the world what you do. Don’t be timid. The more who know – the BETTER!
If you’re still sitting there thinking, “can I really call myself an actor if I don’t actually make a living acting?” Slap yourself. Good. Then slap yourself again. OF COURSE, YOU CAN. Ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Speak that shit into existence.
I currently make my living as a tour guide and retail sales associate but here’s how I respond to the infamous question, “So what do you do.”
“I’m an Actor and Writer pursing the dream here in Nashville, TN.”
That’s it.
OWN IT.
